Hello all!
A few weeks back the bloggers were asked to write a blog in response to a few questions that future Rooks may have.
I am completely open to answering any questions future Rooks or their parents might have if they send me an e-mail to brassplayer412@aim.com
I use that e-mail to seperate from my scholastic e-mail in my student account.
But for the masses, I wrote a satiracal piece/ essay that I thought might give a "real" answer to how Rook life is. Enjoy!
How
to Write a Fantastic Paper as a Norwich Rook
Towards
the end of each academic semester, there is always a pressure to turn in papers
that can range from five to twenty pages. As Norwich University Rooks, it can
often be very stressful to deal with training cadre and the stress that academics
can put one through. Well fear no more for there are a few simple steps, tips,
and tricks that can get you on your way to a successful paper that will make
your professors shed tears of joy or leave them gawking as they take their
almighty pens and mark an “A+” on your paper.
The
first step you might want to follow is to first read the assignment that your
professor has given. Scientists have proven that if you know what the
assignment is, you are more likely to get a higher grade on it when you turn it
in. By this time you need to pause for a bit and think about how to best bring
this paper to life and conquer it. The next step is to turn on your computer,
sit down, get out your notes, and prepare yourself to begin typing. At this
point, your Rook buddy just called “Hall at Ease” for your company commander
and your staff sergeant reports he saw your other Rook buddy going into the
chow hall in a B’s shirt and PT running pants. You endure the screaming and
blousing that is sure to occur for the next hour. After you have escaped back
into your hole, you sit down and breathe. Breathe. Go to your happy place. No
cadre. No yelling. No stupid Rook buddy mistakes. Aaaaahhh. Feel better now?
Great. Let’s get back to that paper recruit.
The
next step to take is to set your spacing to “2.0” and write out your heading
and title. Make sure to underline your title to make it look important. It is
your gift to the world after all. Wow, that sure was a lot of progress. As a
Rook, you need to reward yourself for every little bit of the day that you can
make it through. It is best to take out some colored pencils, a sharpener, and
print out a coloring page to relax your mind. I hear Disney is always highly
recommended. Ah, well hello Mickey Mouse. It is time to pick up the red colored
pencil and begin coloring your stylish pants. Isn’t this relaxing? Yes, just
lose your mind in the monotony. Nothing harmful can possibly hap- BAM! Your
platoon sergeant just found you sleeping at your desk, drooling all over Mickey
Mouse, and with a red colored pencil in your hand. Red handed. After you
readjust yourself and wipe away any spit that may have flown from your platoon
sergeant’s mouth onto your face, you realize that you only have one hour to
your deadline. Do not panic.
This
next step is sure to leave your professor speechless at your paper. As a Rook,
you are put under a tremendous amount of stress. Too much stress is unhealthy
and it leaves some people psychologically unable to perform. To demonstrate
this inevitable event occurring in your life, begin writing every single word
you know until you get that paper finished. America. Computer. Dog. Cadre.
Monday Crayons. Bombs. Whistles. Book. Christmas. Soup. Go until you meet that
twenty page paper requirement. Power Rangers. Feet. Sign. Santa. Meow. Lamp.
Pokémon. Keyboard. Elbow. Norwich. Rectangle. Moooo! Forty-four. You have now made it to the end of your paper.
Congratulations. Your professor is now required to hold off on your final
grades and call the appropriate authorities to come and help you. You’ll find
you have plenty of time to write the essay in the comfortable confinements of
the Vermont State Sanatorium.
I hope it made you smile.
Have a great and productive week.
-PVT Cajina