Helicopter Parents

So let's talk about "Helicopter Parents" for a minute. A helicopter parent is defined as "a person who pays extremely close attention to his or her child or children, particularly at educational institutions. They rush to prevent any harm from befalling them or letting them learn from their own mistakes, sometimes even contrary to the children's wishes. They are so named because, like a helicopter, they hover closely overhead, rarely out of reach whether their children need them or not. An extension of the term, "Black Hawks," has been coined for those who cross the line from a mere excess of zeal to unethical behavior such as writing their children's college admission essays." Helicopter parents are the bane of many Admissions Counselors existence. Therefore, STOP! There is absolutely no need for a seventeen year old to have their mother or father complete every step of the application process. This is your education and you need to take responsibility for it. If you're not willing to do what it takes to complete the application process without your parents doing it, then how in the world are you going to survive college? It's time for all of you, and you know who you are, to pick up the phone and call your Admissions Counselor about missing items, application status, random questions, etc. And for those helicopter parents who are reading this...it's time for you to let go. Your son or daughter is a young adult and need to be treated as such. I'm sure it's a scary prospect, but really, it's time. There's nothing worse than having a parent call you and ask about what's still missing from their child's application and when you say, well we're still looking to receive his first semester grades and personal essay, and the parent goes "oh well I'll get my grades in right away." I'm sorry...your grades? Don't you mean your child's grades? And yes, this has happened. And it happens EVERY YEAR. It's also horrible when we call to speak to the applicant and the mother/father says they're not available, yet you can hear them talking in the background! "Mom tell them that I'll send my essay tomorrow." Come on now! Just pick up the phone and tell me yourself! Once again, take responsibility for this process! We're not big, bad scary people and I promise that we won't yell at you for missing items, or if you're no longer interested. Just talk to us. That's all I ask. And parents, of course we want you to be involved in the process. It's a big deal, and a big change for the entire family, we understand that. So you should feel free to call the Admissions Office to ask questions, talk about worries, etc. However, there is a fine line between being an involved parent and being a helicopter parent. So please, for the sanity of all Admissions Counselors, think twice before filling out the application for your child, and think five times before writing their essay because, despite what you may think, we can tell.

Comments

[Jane]

As a mom of a future Norwich student, I wholeheartly agree that the student needs to be the one in charge of his application process and his essays etc., Of course parents should guide and support when necessary, but the student should be the one who does the work not the parent. Thanks for a great blog. JU

[Charles Monagan]

Read about Helicopter Parents, Hummingbird Parents, Dragonfly Parents, Penguin Parents, Piledriver Parents and more in "How to Get a Monkey into Harvard," due in September from Grove Atlantic Press.

[Charles Monagan]

Read about Helicopter Parents, Hummingbird Parents, Dragonfly Parents, Penguin Parents, Piledriver Parents and more in "How to Get a Monkey into Harvard," due in September from Grove Atlantic Press.